really losing it (what's left of it, anyway).

Well, I just got back from drinking some 2 for 1 drinks down at the local chain restaurant with the lovely Ms. Colleen. It was nice, actually, because we haven't done anything in ages. And as much as I absolutely abhor chain restaurants they seem to be okay when they are deserted at 11:30pm on a Friday and the bartender is a kinda funny guy.

Halloween was enjoyable, with a measured amount of debauchery. The Mathematicians were great as per usual, and even did one of their great newer songs that nobody anywhere seems to have a recording of, "Weapons of Math Destruction". Oh ha ha. Surely we don't take ourselves too seriously....

I really fried my brain today, writing and arranging and ditching IE and Safari in favor of the apparently quite divine Firefox...I even helped my dad install a new battery into the ancient Farmall tractor (are we hicks? I guess it's a matter of opinion). The addition of 2/3 of a hockey game and several beers into the equation has made me g r o g g y indeed.

And yet, here I am at 1:30AM listening to, of all things, AC/DC. Anyone who knows me basically understands how this works. You could mack me over the head with a shovel repeatedly and I'd still end up sitting in a chair somewhere listening to AC/DC quite happily.

Right on.

So, after a mischief free week (I should get a certificate; best behavior in....well, a long time) I am ready for some HALLOWEEN ANTICS. Don't get too excited, I have a feeling this is going to be far less impressive than the capital letters suggest.

First off, dressing up. Hmm, now this is something of a quandry. There are several possibilities:

I have a maroon sequined dress somewhere in the back of my closet which I paid way too much money for in Montreal a few years ago (hey, I bought it right from the woman that made it! Quality must count for something). I bought a new pair of devil horns, so I COULD be satan. Especially since I still have my maroon docs, and there's always some fishnet stockings in my room SOMEWHERE. Go ahead Cory, I dare you to make some kind of joke about me ending up looking like a drag queen and/or a hooker.

At the opposite end of the costume spectrum lies my idea about being Fidel Castro. The execution of this costume would be far easier, as it merely requires brown cargo pants, my favorite drab green English Army sweater, and my black felt cap (you know what kind of cap I mean-- the kind lots of us demented persons of Irish ancestry can be found wearing). Add a cigar. Hmm... the only problem is that I never went fake beard shopping. So maybe I should pare down this costume idea and generalize it into "dictator of a small third-world country". I'm way hotter than Castro anyway. And marginally more stylish than Qadaffi. By the SMALLEST. POSSIBLE. MARGIN.

Another (rather unlikely) option would be to dress up really nerdy. This usually doesn't count as a costume for me, but since I'm going with Annie B to the Mathematicians ( http://www.themathematicians.net/themathematicians/mathematicians.html ) show in Albany tonight I guess it would be acceptable. We didn't have time to make cardboard robot suits (sigh).

Most likely scenario? Probably won't end up dressing up at all. I have an eyepatch around somewhere, too, but I purchased that more for every day/occasional use than for actual costume purposes. Slight problem, though. My eyelashes are really long (this is the only only time you will EVER hear me complain about my eyelashes) so the eyepatch is somewhat irritating and lash-bending (sob).

Meh. I guess Halloween is a state of mind though, eh? With or without a costume. Hopefully there will be some Sushi or Thai or Indian food and maybe even a few cocktails. Just a FEW. I said it was a state of mind, not a state of slurring drunkenness. I see you raising your eyebrow, Cory, You better watch out, or I'll come find you and shave it off. I know where you live.

Happy Halloween to the approximately one and a half people that read this!

Yeah, so apparently another side effect of laying down the cigarettes happens to be a really annoying and unexpected dose of EMOTIONAL VOLATILITY. Beyond the normal realms of 'oh look at me, having a huge nicotine fit'. Oh no. I'm talking more about 'look at me being spontaneously depressed over practically nothing'.

I'll tell you something. I hate, hate, HATE feeling like some kind of mushy blob of...non-descript gelatinous material. I would say 'jello', but I already used that analogy earlier to the only person that might be unfortunate enough to read this (I know you're out there, Cory). What the hell happened to my backbone? If non-smokerness is going to turn me into one of those softly pulsing invertibrates that hide under rock ledges at the bottom of the sea I'd almost rather raise my pack of smokes against the starry night sky, crank up the rock and roll, and yell "SOD 'EM ALL!"

...because I think that's what you're supposed to yell under these kind of circumstances. Isn't it?

(sigh) I'm not going to do that, though. Instead I'm going to stay in here, wish I could go aimlessly wander the streets of Montreal the way I used to when I felt like this, and try to turn my unsettled feelings into some kind of creativity.

If I can actually get something written, I'll feel a heck of a lot better!!!!!

Hmm.

This basically happens every 6 months or so. Usually, anyway. It's been a little longer this time. But I've decided to start trying to update this infernal thing on a regular basis again.

It must be acknowledged that I have absolutely nothing of interest to write about at present.

Maybe I'll start keeping a tally of how many lollypops I've eaten since I decided to quit smoking (6, and that's only in the past 24 hours or so. I'm on 60 some hours smoke free at this point).

Or I could tell the amusing story about how I got kicked out of a bar the other night for telling a truly TRULY bitch-tastic Jose Cuervo promotion girl not to blow her obnoxious whistle in my face. But then again, perhaps I'll save myself the embarrassment.

I could talk about my recent travels, or the books I've been reading, the stuff I've been trying to write...but is that really interesting? Hahaha, Wow-- I must be getting apathetic in my old age (a truly ancient 23).

In any case, I'll make my basic goal to keep this journal from becoming a dumping ground for online quiz results as has seemed to happen so often in the past. Who knows; maybe this time it will actually turn out to be worthwhile.

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame. You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive. Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

it seems like every time I take one of these "what's your element?!" quizzes i get a different result. so what is it, hmm? seems like i'm usually either fire or wind. a dangerous combination, to be sure. ^_~ whatever. if i really am fire, i hope i don't fizzle out.

i haven't written anything in here for awhile...guess my inspiration is kind of sapped at this time. good thing there are so many idiotic quizzes and things out there for me to fill up the space with.

i need to start writing again (my real, serious writing), but first i think i need a change of pace. some time away or a new creative outlet to jumpstart my brain. i'm in a deep state of mental hibernation, which i admit does have certain benefits...but it's also really not my style.

it's also not my style to compose this kind of miniature diatribe about my *feelings*. ::is nauseated::

deranged mage...

mwa ha ha!! die, plumber! ZAAAAN! GAHK! who will...save the princess now? ::dies::

Create your own NES Comic

You're "Take on Me" by A-ha.


|| Which 80s Song Are You? ||
brought to you by Quizilla

well.

i was de-junkifying my room once again today. why is it that i seem to be able to remove a whole garbage bag full of old crap from the place every time i clean, yet it never seems to get less cluttered in there? grrr. inside this broken down old hatbox that was under some stuff, i found a variety of real treasures. among these were a bunch of old christmas cards, quite a few of which seemed to be from people i don't remember at all (figures).

the best thing i found was rather unfortunately quite out of season, but i've decided to share it anyway. after all, christmas and columbus day are both holidays that....start with 'c'. so does cookie, meaning that it's good enough for me. and so here i present my snotty grade 2 essay on Christopher Columbus; the original text, in its entirety. marvel at my astoundingly insightful 7 year old academic prowess...




10/5/89

Columbus

If I were Christopher Columbus I would descover

new lands and sail a wooden boat. and descover

America thinking it was the Indies and sail for

71 days with hardly anything cold to drink.

they hadnot invented frigies yet.



ah, yes....the horror of being at sea for over two months without......a frigie. even now i believe that one of Columbus' hardest trials must have been surviving those weeks with nothing but warm ale to drink. warm ale!? ::shudder:: no wonder he was so mean to the natives. i think this work really sums up Columbus; it tells us of his greatest triumphs, tribulations, and even his failures. it makes me want to run off right now and 'sail a wooden boat' away to lands yet undescovered.....

i lost my hat. i miss my hat! HATTYYYYYYY......

LOOK OUT! ïòð

c a t h e r i n e is a radioactive squirrel!!

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

after a nice long weekend to think carefully and research, the zelda wars recommence.


vslashg: Go to the next room.

vslashg: Go north, west, south, west in the forest maze

vslashg: Go up up in the hills ahead

vslashg: This ain't enough to talk

vslashg: Boy, you must be rich

vslashg: Leave your money or life.

vslashg: Take any road you want

vslashg: Let's try Zelda 2.

vslashg: I am error.

MischiefMagnet27: I AM ERROR!!! that was going to be my first one...... Speak with my father before you leave town

MischiefMagnet27: I can restore your life

vslashg: Show this note to river man

MischiefMagnet27: if all else fails use fire.

vslashg: Spies of ganon are everywhere

MischiefMagnet27: get candle in parapa palace. go west

MischiefMagnet27: use keys in palaces they are found in

MischiefMagnet27: you have water. come to my house.

MischiefMagnet27: i can give you magic. come back anytime.

MischiefMagnet27: (wink wink)


looks like the battle for zelda-remembering supremacy is getting pretty serious. can anyone out there hang with the zeldamasters? (that may be the nerdiest thing i've ever said. i sound like an issue of fucking NINTENDO POWER) ^_^

so i was walking over here today to use the computer after eating some leftover chinese noodles. a question suddenly came into my mind; something i realized i had never really thought about before.

i have always been one of the biggest supporters of plum sauce as a condiment. all you need to do to realize this is go way back into my journal archives and find the rant about plum sauce never getting any respect. every time i go to a chinese take out place and pick up food, i end up grabbing some of those spicy mustards and several packets of what they call "duck sauce".

i remember always being vaguely disappointed in the back of my mind...as though my deeper conciousness were saying "::sigh:: this duck sauce is ok, but i sure wish it were plum sauce instead". but today, i suddenly had a suspicion. if my theory proved to be true, life would never be the same again. the burning question was this:

IS....DUCK SAUCE.....PLUM SAUCE???

after consulting several websites, i was able to discover the truth that i should have known all along:

DUCK SAUCE ***IS*** PLUM SAUCE!!!!!

how could i have been so blind? all this time i never knew how lucky i really was. i refused to declare my affection for duck sauce simply because it went by a different name.

it is clear from some of the notations i encountered that many others prefer the term "plum sauce":

"Plum Sauce (duck Sauce)" : the parentheses alone make it evident, but observe the use of a lower case "d" in "duck". an affront to duck sauce if i ever saw one.

"Plum Sauce (AKA Duck Sauce)" : the glaring AKA seems to say that yes, there are people who know it as duck sauce, but plum sauce is its *true* name.

"Plum Duck Sauce" : someone has attempted to call the sauce by both names. this sounds silly and may result in some confusion for those who do not posess the wisdom required to know that plum sauce and duck sauce are the same.


as you can see, poor duck sauce is even more neglected as a condiment than plum sauce. even lovers of plum sauce such as myself have done a grave disservice to this prolific packaged delight. i know next time i order chinese food, i'll begin to seek forgiveness by throwing a giant handfull of DUCK SAUCE in my bag.

who can remember the most zeldatudes?

MischiefMagnet27: it's a secret to everyone

vslashg: Pay me for the door repair charge

MischiefMagnet27: give this letter to the old woman.

vslashg: Those who do not have triforce may not enter

MischiefMagnet27: let's play moneymaking game

vslashg: master using it and you can have this

MischiefMagnet27: buy somethin' will ya!

vslashg: Boy, this is really expensive

MischiefMagnet27: take any one you want

vslashg: grumble grumble

MischiefMagnet27: buy medicine before you go

vslashg: Pay me and I'll talk

MischiefMagnet27: eastmost peninsula is the secret

vslashg: I bet you'd like to have more bombs.

vslashg: Oh, my cab is here! And I could have continued this all day.

MischiefMagnet27: HAHAHA YES

MischiefMagnet27: me too. have a good flight!

vslashg: All right! Cya around

MischiefMagnet27: it is dangerous to go alone. take this!



notice how even under these circumstances, i manage to get the last word. ^_~

so i've been meaning to start writing in this thing again. i've had one of those several month lapses in updating that i'm so prone to; it is especially hard when you know that only maybe two people read your journal anyway. emphasis on the maybe. so, since i couldn't think of anything i wanted to write about today, i decided to post a list of things i *don't* feel like writing about. let's begin.

1. my trip to montreal and all the fun i had, people i saw, and tasty food i ate. not to mention all the booze and hookers. well, maybe not any hookers.

2. my current search for a new job (ugh)

3. the tasty food i'm going to cook for dinner tonight

4. the 10 beers i drank last night while playing super mario brothers 1

5. the apparently rabid demand in montreal for matches with pictures of george w. bush on them

6. the roll of b&w film i just sent to the developers that has been sitting around for almost 2 years and will soon show my last days in montreal

7. the cool book i read last week

8. my cool mp3 playlist

9, the european championships of soccer which are coming up soon

10. all the funny stuff me and jesse felter used to write in our live journals

11. a rant about useless characters in RPG video games

12. .....wow, that turned out even more pitiful than i'd expected.


so you see, perhaps it's better not to bother making journal entries when you don't have anything you feel like writing about. staring at this screen for the past several hours hasn't exactly filled me up with inspiration, either. maybe tomorrow i'll be able to string together a few words about.....something. my only pleasure is knowing that cory will definitely go through the torturous experience of reading this entry since i haven't written in so long. so there, cory! i just made you waste at least 30 seconds!!

so i woke up at 8 this morning. which is pretty sad, considering that even though i have a job now, i don't usually need to get up until 9. i thought about this for a few moments while sitting in an armchair in my pyjamas, and eventually decided that this was a perfect opportunity to make this a saturday to remember. i thought it would be a great idea to dedicate the whole day to being a complete and utter loser, perhaps as a tribute to the past year of my life which has been spent quite largely doing little more than nothing other than a little babysitting to make pocket money. it was almost a graduation ceremony, ....a celebration of my passage from a status of pitiful lazy do-nothingness to happy job-having money-makingness. i also didn't feel very well, so i tailored the plan very carefully to accomodate my stiff neck and somewhat chilly body.

it didn't take long to decide exactly what to do. i knew i didn't feel like exerting the mental energy required to spend the day reading, so of course i settled on video games. after watching a cartoon and eating a bowl of strawberries (figured i better get a healthy start considering the rest of the day was likely to end up as a junkfest), i got right down to work. here is how things progressed:

9am
travelled laboriously to the entire other corner of the house (so many stairs to navigate!) to retrieve my playstation, already equipped with ff chronicles version of chrono trigger.

quick stop in my room to get ::dun dun duuuuuuun:: dad's old bathrobe which he never wore so i stole and began to use.

equipped with coffee and snuggled into a recliner, play begins at the entrance to the ocean palace.


11am
took a break to shower and get dressed, choosing ratty old clothes and throwing The Robe back on.

having noticed coffee's annoying tendency to get cold while fiddling around in the equipment menus, i procured a giant glass of juice thinking "this should last a few hours".

carefully place a bag of doritos in my lap, ensuring that it does not interfere with my controller use. i could hear my body yelling "no! why?! you don't really want to eat that crap!!" but i ignored what i heard.

resume play inside the blackbird and proceed to play and munch chips occasionally until around...


2pm
after playing through numerous sidequests (sun stone, sunken desert, rainbow shell), getting magus, and doing a bunch of levelling up, it's time for another quick break.

dad wants to use the tv, so i grudgingly unhook my equipment and move the whole operation (doritos and all) back to its original location in a drafty spare bedroom with big tv and recliner. only *just* manage not to fall and kill myself by tripping on the wires on my way up the stairs.

add hat and slippers to robe ensemble to keep out the chill, aquire more juice.

resume play after rainbow shell sidequest. proceed to go to a bunch of towns and shops for awhile, do the northern ruins and ozzie's fort quests, aimlessly wander around looking for treasure, and various other misc., until finally deciding to head to geno dome for the origin of robots sidequest. went on that robot infested conveyor belt 3 times because i wanted those tech points. then i decided it was time for another break. it was now...

5pm
i proceeded down into one of the livingrooms (my house has two; don't ask) and got into a recliner identical to the one in the spare room. grab remote. flip through channels.

settle on the movie "Kes"; a 1970 british film about a gloomy shy yorkshire boy who finds a baby kestrel and teaches it to fly. i started watching it because i just happened to remember that while i was reading (for about the 5th time) the book "Fever Pitch" by Nick Hornby the other day, he had written something about some soccer scene that happens in it. the people had really heavy yorkshire accents. usually i'm fine with heavy british accents, but there was one guy in this film i couldn't understand at all. nevertheless, i got to see the soccer scene and i kept watching (more through laziness and indifference than actual interest) until....

6pm
dinnertime.

which is pretty much where the tale of this amazingly lazy, slovenly saturday comes to a close. i finally took the robe off when i decided to walk down here to use the computer, and once i removed it, i felt about 10 times more awake than i had while wearing it. i guess robes are like that.

i think 8 solid hours of chrono trigger (possibly more if i go home and put that robe back on), almost a whole bag of ranch doritos, and half a bottle of cranberry juice are totally where it's at. i should imagine that very few people had a saturday so....saturday-like. maybe next weekend if my luck holds out, i can shake it up a little with final fantasy iv and a bag of combos. maybe grape juice or iced tea.

on second thought, maybe next saturday i'll go for a nice walk or something.

After finding that little article about my house, I became a little curious and broke out the scrapbook. Here is another fine piece of work, written when I was 8 years old.

May 24 1990 Catherine

My favorite sport is bowling
because its fun for any day.
Theese are the things you need:
A bowling ball -- Up to 12 pounds -- A
bowling aley and bowling pins. You
also need a competitor so you
can compete in a bowling
mach. The object: to hit more
pins than your compounant. You
also need different shirts on
so they don't think your the other
person. If you hit all ten
pins thats a strike if you get
three strikes thats ninty points
or a turkey. I like this game it
is fun.

Well. If the essay in my last entry didn't just shout "PULITZER!", this one certainly does. What a weird kid I was. I mean, who other than professional bowlers even thinks of bowling as a sport?? Oh, to be young again.

While rooting through the cupboard this morning looking for some asprins for my hangover, I came across this stunning relic from the past. I can safely date this document from the time period of 1987-89, otherwise known as "somewhere in the general vicinity of kindergarten or grade one". I present it here in all its original glory. No alterations have been made to the grammar or spelling. Behold this masterpiece:




My House
by Catherine Wilsey

My house is White and Brown.

I love my House

I have a watter hole I hate

it exept in winter it freezes I

get to skate on It. It dose'nt have

engough water to swim in. But I

have a 15by30 Oval pool in my

back yard anyways. Who would

ask for anything more even I have

a swing set and 3 tree forts!

The end


Who could ask for anything more, indeed! I could never ask for a more glorious example of prose. I think my genius was shining through at an early age. Especially the part about the watter hole. Errr, water hole. Right.

So a couple days ago, I was having a conversation with someone which happened to turn to the subject of centipedes. Being as grossed out and completely revolted by centipedes as I am, I naturally decided to go to Google Image Search so I could look at some. What I found there was beyond my wildest dreams.

One of the images, which I think was of a 7 inch long centipede (GAK!!!!!!) led me to the website FAQ of a Hawaiian pest control company. What really amazed me is that the questions presented here are the ones that are FREQUENTLY asked. Think for a moment, about whether or not you could EVER imagine anyone asking some of these questions. I have included my helpful answers in parentheses:


IS IT TRUE THAT CENTIPEDES ALWAYS HANG OUT IN PAIRS?
[I always sort of imagined centipedes as more a "lone wolf" type of pest, personally. I don't know about anyone else]


I SEE DROPPINGS AND WONDER, ARE THEY FROM A GECKO OR A MOUSE ?
[Is this one of those deep, philosophical questions? We wouldn't want the fabric of causality to unravel if we manage to figure out the answer to this one.]


IS THERE A WAY TO GET RID OF THESE GECKOS?
[I dunno......tell them you're out of beer? Usually works with most guests I have over]


I HAVE DROPPINGS THAT I THINK ARE TERMITES. IS THERE A WAY TO TELL?
[I'm sure people often have trouble differentiating between droppings and living organisms. It would explain the widespred use by one human to another of the phrase, "You piece of shit!!!!"


WE ARE BEING BITTEN BY SOMETHING WE CANNOT SEE. COULD IT BE SAND FLEAS?
[Didn't you just come off the Smack? It's probably just one of those pesky withdrawl symptoms.]


I HAVE ANTS. DOES THAT MEAN I WON’T HAVE TERMITES?
[If they are carpenter ants, they may frighten the termites away with their woodworking skills.]


All I have to say in conclusion is this: If these are the FREQUENTLY asked questions, I don't even want to imagine what kind of questions the Mokihana Pest Control guys have to answer that they DON'T hear on a frequent basis. That kind of stuff can give you nightmares.

You're "Dancing With Myself" by Billy
Idol.


|| Which 80s Song Are You? ||
brought to you by Quizilla

So I saw another fabulous episode of the 1987 PBS series "learn to read". Obviously I have no trouble reading, so the program doesn't have much to offer me other than some sick sort of entertainment. This time, I happened to have a notebook in my lap when the show came on. So yes, I took a few notes. I couldn't help myself...

I was able to learn a little bit more about the host, Wally "famous" Amos, such as the fact that he seems to enjoy wearing a purple shirt with sewn on pictures of a big yellow sun, a tree, some hearts, and a rainbow.

Note: HOLY PYJAMAS, I actually found a picture of him wearing this very shirt. Please, please go and see. it might just make your day. http://www.lpb.org/education/literacy/ltr.jpg

This episode was apparently from the second series, which covers more advanced reading topics. In this particular case, "Forms". Wally spent some time talking about how much he hated forms, then we got to see two skits about people who had recently learned to read and now needed to fill some out.

Here are some especially marvellous quotes from this episode:

"Can you warm to the forms?"

"You'd think with the skimpy clothes I wear, I wouldn't have to do much laundry. But I do!"

"There will even be forms to fill out when we die. Guess we better do them ahead of time, huh?"

" 'It's just a matter of getting people on the rolls and to the polls,' says Coots, who has a way of saying things in rhyme."


It was a half hour of unmitigated delight, enhanced by the presence of alcohol in my system. Everyone alive should be watching this show, whether they can read or not. All the cool kids are doing it.....